


Girlfriend Material

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy, F/M, Glorious Cheese, Pick-Up Lines, Reader-Insert, Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 14:39:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13719825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Girlfriend Material

“You know you love my bad pick-up lines,” you laughed. It was kind of your thing whenever he was in a “meh” kind of mood to inundate him with the cheesy stupidity of your pick-up lines - made all the more ironic by the fact that you had in fact already picked him up…a year and a half ago.

It made it even funnier for you.

Spencer tried not to smile, but couldn’t. “They’re so bad,” he chuckled. You stared to speak but he cut you off. “And I swear if you start with-”

“Hey babe, you know what my shirt is made of?”

“Girlfriend material?” He asked flatly. The back of the couch absorbed the shock of his head snapping in exasperation. “I’ve heard that one before. If you can think of one I haven’t heard before maybe I’ll consider cracking a smile despite my crankiness.”

Now it was a challenge. “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.”

“You don’t use that one as often, but I have heard it - and I’ve heard it from you. Try again.”

As you started the dishes, he came up by your side to help you. The two of you had this way of doing dishes where you’d wash and he would dry and put away. Between thinking of the worst lines imaginable, you bumped your hip into him over and over again; you were going to get him to smile if it killed you. “Besides being undeniably sexy, what do you do for a living?”

“I am not sexy.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion. “Yes, you are. We’ve been over this. There isn’t a moment in the day I don’t want to jump your bones.”

“Even right now? When I’m cranky?”

“Yup,” you laughed. “Still wanna do you.”

The last dish was washed and passed off to Spencer while you hopped up on the counter and sat in front of him. “Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven, I mean?”

“Oh Y/N, you’ve got to do better than that.”

Snickering, you leaned in and kissed his perfect pink lips. “What about ‘did you sit in sugar? Because you have a sweet ass.’”

Spencer lost the war. He snorted. “Oh come on, that’s not fair! That one’s so ridiculous!”

“I know, but I win!”

“You still need to dazzle me with one I haven’t heard from you before.”

His hands came up to your waist and pulled you closer, his lips trailing along the side of your neck as you sat deep in thought. “Oh I’ve got one.”

“Yea?”

“Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

The man you loved smiled genuinely and happily for the first time that day. “Awww, that was so cheesy,” he said, kissing your nose. “I love it. And I love you. Thank you for making me smile.”

“I try.”

His lips brushed gently up against yours, teasing you with the promise of a kiss and not delivering. “My brain is being flooded with dirty pick up lines now?”

Spencer laughed and took your lips in a heated kiss, nibbling slowly along the line of your jaw as he picked you up to take you into your bedroom. “Fuck me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?” His low chuckle made you want to keep doing it, so as he brought you inside and you both began to remove your clothing, you kept torturing (see: comforting) him with the best dirty lines you could think up. “How about this ‘you’re on my list of things to do today.’ Eh?”

“Stop it, you’re giving me ideas,” he said.

Taking your nipple in between his teeth, he rolled it around in his mouth and laughed sending the vibrations up your body. “What, you have a dirty pick up line? Give it to me.”

“Do you work at the post office?”

“No.”

“Because I saw you checking out my package.”

You howled with laughter while you hooked your fingers into your panties and pulled them down your legs. “That was amazing. Oh my god, please tell me you have more.”

“Let me think.”

Spencer stepped out of his pants and boxers, returning to the bed and kissing your legs slowly making his way back up to your mouth. Had you not known it from earlier you would’ve sworn he’d been in a great mood all day. His eyes were alight with need, a comforting smile peaking its way out as you murmured underneath him. “I can’t think when I have a beautiful, naked lady under me.”

Using your right leg, you snaked it around his waist and pulled him toward you. “Then don’t think anymore and just love me, how about that?”

“That I can do.”

Another whimper crawled its way out of you as his fingers grazed your sex, the warmth of his lips spreading outward from wherever he kissed. He kissed you anywhere and everywhere until your body was on fire. Dipping down, he licked a strip up your slit and then placed himself at your entrance, slipping inside as your legs trembled softly. It’s like you were made for each other you fit together so perfectly. 

“Oh fuck, Spence.” He slid inside you to the hilt and pinned your legs back with his own thighs. The view he must’ve had was salacious to say the least - legs spread wide open, your pussy slick with arousal. “Take me.”

His shoulders tensed up as he bent his top half over yours, slowly moving his hips against yours. The way you were connected left him the room to hunch over you and use his right hand to massage your clit. “You’re so wet.”

“All because of you.”

As he picked up the pace of his movements, you bit your lip in an attempt to keep quiet, but it wasn’t working. He didn’t want it to work either. “Don’t keep it in.”

“We’ll get the landlord called on us,” you laughed. When his cock hit your g-spot, you gasped, your breath continually hitching in your throat as he moved inside you. 

Spencer responded by moving faster and basking in the sounds you made. “I don’t care if we do,” he replied. As you approached your climax, he kissed you again to swallow the cry that escaped you. “Ah, fuck…Y/N…fuck…” Less than 30 seconds later, he followed suit, falling over the edge and collapsing right next to you. 

“We’re gonna get called one day,” you said, smiling as you kissed his nose.

Spencer ran his hand through your hair and brought your face even closer to his. “I’m banking on it. One of these days I’m going to fuck you so hard the neighbors are going to want a cigarette afterwards.”

“Was that a pick-up line?”

He bit his lip and smiled. “Maybe?”

“Well, it was actually a pretty good one. That would definitely get me back into bed.”


End file.
